喜菡文學網

Impressionism is my memory of thee

　　Impressionism is my memory of thee
　　as I sketch a dream over thy chin—
　　how can a man adore thee enough
　　while all the dots, words had been thine?

　　Yet alone I feel not, so much as a glimpse of light
　　shalt imprint the negative of minds,
　　an enduring fire last the darkness-ness of nights
　　longing for the first dawn to ignite—

　　O, might I just add to thy face an accent
　　if not a verse, if not a stanza, a sentence
　　or a punctuation I learnt. May then, eyes wilt
　　move, linger, ponder who hath left a sigh here
　　that smells the footprints of a lost poet at large?

　　Neo-impressionism hence is cast by thee.

Thanks, cauchy3.

Greetings!

I haven't been to this section for a long, long time-- What a surprise.

A few minor questions:

Line 7: last---> lasts
darkness-ness ----??? I don't understand the device.
Also, it seems to me that you are trying to write a classic sonnet, using classic pronouns and forms. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to follow the classic format in rhyming, i.e. ABAB CDCD EFEF GG?

With only minor variations, the same poem existed prior to 2007. The only difference between the two versions was the first word of the last line--Neo-impressionism. Would you care to comment on it?


JMTMD

JMTMD, thanks.
i don't visit this place frequently but
it's Saturday here and i am surprised
to see any one would leave a note

line 7:
'shalt' from line 6 carries on its effect till line 7
or you may say it's omitted, deliberately;
an enduring fire (shalt) last ...;
thought this flows better.

'Neo-impressionism hence is cast by thee.'
going through the transformation in stanza 3
made the word 'Neo-impressionism' as an analogy
compared to how drawing evolved. e.g., with 'an accent' here;
the transformation leads to the passive voice as in 'is cast by'.


this is not a sonnet as used to be as you can tell from the way
these stanzas are formed. i try to create, not to follow.

make sense?
glad to exchange views.

forgot one

darkness-ness

suffix -ness represents the mechanism of or for achieving
a state, condition, especially when used after a noun,
it could be used as suffix for other types too