Last voyage––最末的航行

[ZY]

Last voyage

The rabbit ran back into the autumn
His cottontail wagging a wind of laughters.
We climbed down to the valley
And waited through the month for the rain clouds.

We thirsted for the meteors to show their passion,
To light the western night with another storm.
When we found the spring dry and the trail muddied
We abandoned the last totem of our tribe.

Mist came after ice and snow, and we cut
Our hairs to start a bonfire. In the final shore
We weaved a boat from the seashells
And launched our last voyage under Orion.
The night was thin and the sky old,
Our milky road winding into a head wind.

Onward into the jungle of memories as we trudge,
I shall step by you as our kids by us.
We a bridge will build with our gaze in stone.
And forever is short when our hearts are fleeting.
And forever is warm when our hearts are blazing.


最末的航行

兔子回跑進秋天，棉花的
尾巴搖擺著風的笑聲
攀下山谷我們已然
等過了整個月
等待著雨雲

我們乾渴著，等流星去
展現激情，去熾燃西方的夜晚
以另一次風暴
當春日乾旱，我們發現
野路泥濘，放棄了
部族最後的圖騰

霧跟著冰雪， 我們
剪下頭髮起一攤篝火，在最末的海岸
用海貝編織
一條小船，在獵戶星座下
出發，我們最末的航行

薄薄底夜裡
天空已老去，我們
乳白如星河的道路捲繞
進一陣拂頭的逆風
我將舉步傍妳
宛如我們的孩子
傍著我們舉步

搭一座橋我們將
用石裡的凝視，永恆
其實短暫當心神飛馳，永恆
還有溫暖
當心口熾燃

[喬叟]

Last voyage

The rabbit ran back into the autumn
His cotton tail wagging a wind of laughters.-----> cottontail
We have climbed down to the valley
And waited through the month for the rain clouds.

We thirst for the meteors to show their passion,
To light the western night with another storm.
When we found the spring dry and the trail muddied
We abandoned the last totem of our tribe.

Mist came after ice and snow, and we cut
Our hairs to start a bonfire. In the final shore
We weaved a boat from the seashells
And launched our last voyage under Orion.The night is thin and the sky old,
Our milky road winding into a head wind.
I shall step by you as our kids by us.
We a bridge will build with our gaze in stone.
And forever is short when our hearts are fleeting.
And forever is warm when our hearts are blazing.


最末的航行

兔子回跑進秋天，棉花的
尾巴搖擺著風的笑聲
攀下山谷我們已然
等過了整個月
等待著雨雲

我們乾渴著，等流星去
展現激情，去熾燃西方的夜晚
以另一次風暴
當春日乾旱，我們發現
野路泥濘，放棄了
部族最後的圖騰

霧跟著冰雪， 我們
剪下頭髮起一攤篝火，在最末的海岸
用海貝編織
一條小船，在獵戶星座下
出發，我們最末的航行

薄薄底夜裡
天空已老去，我們
乳白如星河的道路捲繞
進一陣拂頭的逆風
我將舉步傍妳
宛如我們的孩子
傍著我們舉步

搭一座橋我們將
用石裡的凝視，永恆
其實短暫當心神飛馳，永恆
還有溫暖
當心口熾燃

Nice job!

I have read over your English and Chinese versions several times, and the only thing that I would suggest is to watch out for shifting tense. I have colored the present tense in green and the past in blue. Unless you intend for it to be so, shifting tense within the same context confuses the readers. In regard to tense, I would say the English is a much more precise language than the Chinese.

Again, a very nice piece!

Enjoy your stay in Taiwan!

[ZY]

Thanks again for the suggestions/corrections.
Tenses are indeed something that I still mess up all the time, even after being in the states for over 20 years now.