週三 9月 23, 2015 5:01 am
前言：此為回應某臺灣教授的調研“做過的最有智慧的一件事”。
I have worked hard for the first supervisor X in his lab for the first semester, and then I wished to go back to China mostly for seeing my ex-girlfriend. When I was doing my M.A. degree in Zhejiang province of China, He told my old supervisor and me that: “If you like, you can stay in Canada for half year and in China for half year each year of your Ph.D. program.” With this message, I decided to go to Canada and promised my ex-girlfriend, whom I just met in Shandong province for several times, that: “I will come back to China next year for half year so that we would have more time to be together.” But after the first semester, I felt that my first Ph.D. supervisor was not going to keep his promise. I gently mentioned his promise made in China; but he said: “I said if I like you to stay in Canada for half year then you stay, if I like you to go to China, then you go to China for half year.” Thus, I did not keep my promise to my ex-girlfriend of going back to China after the first winter in Canada. And then in the second semester, I told X that I wish to go back to China in the summer break, but he told me that if I leave his lab for more than three weeks, then I should not come back again. He asked me to think carefully about it, whether to stay in his lab, or to switch supervisor.
Later, I told my old supervisor in China about this issue, wished he could help me; because he was a colleague with X. Later, my old supervisor told me that he had tried to talk to X, but X was not willing to talk about this issue, and complained that I always talk about going back home, not working hard on studies, etc. Then I realized that my old supervisor dared not to damage his relationship with X, and plus, he might think that the Ph.D. supervisor dislike me for some other reasons. Thus, I secretly contacted several managers in our department seeking for help; and they all showed compassion for me but I also felt that some of them may sometimes doubt my words. A person even recommended me to go to the school psychological counseling clinic.
I had thought about this issue carefully; I knew that I was at an extremely weak position: I had no personal connection with any Canadian except for my first Supervisor, and that is why X thought that I would change my mind and submitted to his will eventually. But he did not know me; I am a person of courage and will. I had knew him well enough even when I was in my M.A. degree studying that I always hide my strong personality in front of him; and even when I was secretly seeking for another potential supervisor I behaved gently and submissively in his lab. I knew the risk, but I had prepared for the worst: quitting the Ph.D. program and go back to China; because I can not break my promise to my ex-girlfriend again, otherwise I would feel regretful for my whole life, because I might have missed the right person in my life for being a coward at that time. This was actually the most important reason for my breaking with my first supervisor, not because I was desperate to see my ex-girlfriend. In fact, I was not sure if I really love her at that time; I broke with my ex-girlfriend shortly after I saw her in China again that summer break because she said: “My friend said that you could have five months of summer break and of course you would switch supervisor.”
I am glad that I was brave enough to keep my promise and be the person who I am although even my ex-girlfriend did not understand me. I prayed for this smooth switching, and talked to many people before I made the move, I learnt that trust between people is difficult and not everyone would speak from heart. What really matter is not their advices on what to do, but some information that may be helpful.
I ask opinions about whether to switch to professor A or B. (I already met A at the beginning of the fist semester and participated in his lab meetings since. I just knew B for one month and met him twice at that time.) They all said that A was nice, whereas B sometimes forgot the deadlines. Well, I thought if everyone said A was nice, it would be dangerous for me if I later found that A is actually hypocritical, I would not be able to switch supervisor again, because they would all think that I am a bad student who can not get along well with supervisors. B is much safer because everyone saw his weakness yet still considers him a nice guy. Maybe B is just like me, a philosopher who barely pay attention to the details in daily life. And I know this type of persons is usually transcendent: not caring about the secular issues, such as offending my first supervisor X, who is very influential in our department. Now I have confirmed that I made a wise choice.
I did not tell this story to any faculty in our department, I simply said to my current supervisor B that I was interested in your project which is true and I did not lie. I know they would not necessarily believe what I said and I need to maintain a normal relationship with the first Ph.D. supervisor X, which is not difficult for me, because I hold no negative feeling towards him after I switched supervisor. After all, without him, I would not be able to study at U of T. My father told me that I should always feel grateful for him: “滴水之恩，當湧泉相報”. He was the person who recognize my talents:“知遇之恩”.
After the switching, I kept cooperating with the first Ph.D. supervisor until we together published a paper on an international journal, which turned out to be good for my comprehensive examination. X signed the form for me, and thus I can work on my Ph.D. thesis much earlier than other Ph.D. students. I still meet X sometimes, and I always greet him with a smile from my heart.
後記：
臺灣教授說，如果是她，她很可能就沒有勇氣，會一直忍著讀完畢業。其實，我的碩導也曾這樣建議過。X最後在辦公室裡私下同我說過：“也許會讓你兩年不回國”——他不知道我早已做過準備，他還以為我會妥協。當時一個華人博士生說，X畢竟是老師，他是想培養你。
換博導前一周剛好有一個西雅圖的朋友K在我家住了一周。他說：“你應該站出來揭發他，這樣他就不能夠對別的學生這樣做。”
一個匹茲堡的朋友D說，K沒有讀過研，不知道學校裡的政治形勢，但是你一定要換導師。
換過導師後四月份我先去匹茲堡D家裡，再去西雅圖K家裡，然後從西雅圖飛北京。我記得美國硬幣上有一句話：Live Free, Or Die.
I have worked hard for the first supervisor X in his lab for the first semester, and then I wished to go back to China mostly for seeing my ex-girlfriend. When I was doing my M.A. degree in Zhejiang province of China, He told my old supervisor and me that: “If you like, you can stay in Canada for half year and in China for half year each year of your Ph.D. program.” With this message, I decided to go to Canada and promised my ex-girlfriend, whom I just met in Shandong province for several times, that: “I will come back to China next year for half year so that we would have more time to be together.” But after the first semester, I felt that my first Ph.D. supervisor was not going to keep his promise. I gently mentioned his promise made in China; but he said: “I said if I like you to stay in Canada for half year then you stay, if I like you to go to China, then you go to China for half year.” Thus, I did not keep my promise to my ex-girlfriend of going back to China after the first winter in Canada. And then in the second semester, I told X that I wish to go back to China in the summer break, but he told me that if I leave his lab for more than three weeks, then I should not come back again. He asked me to think carefully about it, whether to stay in his lab, or to switch supervisor.
Later, I told my old supervisor in China about this issue, wished he could help me; because he was a colleague with X. Later, my old supervisor told me that he had tried to talk to X, but X was not willing to talk about this issue, and complained that I always talk about going back home, not working hard on studies, etc. Then I realized that my old supervisor dared not to damage his relationship with X, and plus, he might think that the Ph.D. supervisor dislike me for some other reasons. Thus, I secretly contacted several managers in our department seeking for help; and they all showed compassion for me but I also felt that some of them may sometimes doubt my words. A person even recommended me to go to the school psychological counseling clinic.
I had thought about this issue carefully; I knew that I was at an extremely weak position: I had no personal connection with any Canadian except for my first Supervisor, and that is why X thought that I would change my mind and submitted to his will eventually. But he did not know me; I am a person of courage and will. I had knew him well enough even when I was in my M.A. degree studying that I always hide my strong personality in front of him; and even when I was secretly seeking for another potential supervisor I behaved gently and submissively in his lab. I knew the risk, but I had prepared for the worst: quitting the Ph.D. program and go back to China; because I can not break my promise to my ex-girlfriend again, otherwise I would feel regretful for my whole life, because I might have missed the right person in my life for being a coward at that time. This was actually the most important reason for my breaking with my first supervisor, not because I was desperate to see my ex-girlfriend. In fact, I was not sure if I really love her at that time; I broke with my ex-girlfriend shortly after I saw her in China again that summer break because she said: “My friend said that you could have five months of summer break and of course you would switch supervisor.”
I am glad that I was brave enough to keep my promise and be the person who I am although even my ex-girlfriend did not understand me. I prayed for this smooth switching, and talked to many people before I made the move, I learnt that trust between people is difficult and not everyone would speak from heart. What really matter is not their advices on what to do, but some information that may be helpful.
I ask opinions about whether to switch to professor A or B. (I already met A at the beginning of the fist semester and participated in his lab meetings since. I just knew B for one month and met him twice at that time.) They all said that A was nice, whereas B sometimes forgot the deadlines. Well, I thought if everyone said A was nice, it would be dangerous for me if I later found that A is actually hypocritical, I would not be able to switch supervisor again, because they would all think that I am a bad student who can not get along well with supervisors. B is much safer because everyone saw his weakness yet still considers him a nice guy. Maybe B is just like me, a philosopher who barely pay attention to the details in daily life. And I know this type of persons is usually transcendent: not caring about the secular issues, such as offending my first supervisor X, who is very influential in our department. Now I have confirmed that I made a wise choice.
I did not tell this story to any faculty in our department, I simply said to my current supervisor B that I was interested in your project which is true and I did not lie. I know they would not necessarily believe what I said and I need to maintain a normal relationship with the first Ph.D. supervisor X, which is not difficult for me, because I hold no negative feeling towards him after I switched supervisor. After all, without him, I would not be able to study at U of T. My father told me that I should always feel grateful for him: “滴水之恩，當湧泉相報”. He was the person who recognize my talents:“知遇之恩”.
After the switching, I kept cooperating with the first Ph.D. supervisor until we together published a paper on an international journal, which turned out to be good for my comprehensive examination. X signed the form for me, and thus I can work on my Ph.D. thesis much earlier than other Ph.D. students. I still meet X sometimes, and I always greet him with a smile from my heart.
後記：
臺灣教授說，如果是她，她很可能就沒有勇氣，會一直忍著讀完畢業。其實，我的碩導也曾這樣建議過。X最後在辦公室裡私下同我說過：“也許會讓你兩年不回國”——他不知道我早已做過準備，他還以為我會妥協。當時一個華人博士生說，X畢竟是老師，他是想培養你。
換博導前一周剛好有一個西雅圖的朋友K在我家住了一周。他說：“你應該站出來揭發他，這樣他就不能夠對別的學生這樣做。”
一個匹茲堡的朋友D說，K沒有讀過研，不知道學校裡的政治形勢，但是你一定要換導師。
換過導師後四月份我先去匹茲堡D家裡，再去西雅圖K家裡，然後從西雅圖飛北京。我記得美國硬幣上有一句話：Live Free, Or Die.
