Snake

[紫陌]

Snake

In her heart there has a hole.
Seven kinds of color became one rainbow.
It's began since the ocean flowed.
Struck the god's thinking of.
The snake's eyes make the Eden burn.

[雲天]

紫陌好

你的英文詩寫得非常棒
如果可以自我翻譯
解說更好

紫陌這首Snake
一如往常
向本站英文高手徵求詩語言的翻譯

雲天懇請

[葉優]

Snake

In her heart there has a hole.
Seven kinds of color became one rainbow.
It's began since the ocean flowed.
Struck the god's thinking of.
The snake's eyes make the Eden burn.

她的心裡有個洞
七種色彩成了一道彩虹
一切的開始源自海的川流不息
突然想到神的意念
那蛇眼讓伊甸園焚燬



剛睡醒
雖不是英文高手
但也試著幫雲天大哥翻譯

基本上
這首優也還在等紫陌告知其原意
還在修改中

[紫陌]

Snake

In her heart there has a hole.
Seven kinds of color became one rainbow.
It's began since the ocean flowed.
Struck the god's thinking of.
The snake's eyes make the Eden burn.

在她心中有一個黑洞
七種色彩形成一道彩虹
一切開始於海洋源流
摧毀了神的想法
那蛇的眼神令伊甸著火




下面是优修改過滴

Snake

There is a hole in her heart.
Seven colors became one rainbow.
It's began since the ocean had flowed.
Struck what God was thinking of.
The snake's eyes destroyed the Eden.



在她心中有一個黑洞
七種顏色形成一道彩虹
一切開始於海洋的源流
打碎了神的思想
那蛇的眼睛摧毀了伊甸園

[余學林]

無尾熊路過，看了紫陌君的中譯，自己也試著將其也成詩篇。

Snake

In her heart of heart there is a hole,
From seven colours born a rainbow,
All originates from the sea current deep below,
Struck the divine thought, the glare of a serpent,
Incinerate Garden of Eden, then the name
Unknown.


直接拙譯：

在她心中的心中有個空洞
而自七彩中誕生彩虹
一切源自深深海流
摧毀了神意，蛇的睥睨
焚燒了伊甸，從此那名字
無法知悉


問好大家。

[雲天]

全民英檢的時代已經來臨了
英語能力影響職位升遷
公務人員也好
較具規模的企業也好
都一樣

我也要加緊學習了
感謝琉璃貓．優以及Koala.Y

雲天